It’s been forever since I managed to write anything. So much has happened since I last wrote – some good, some bad, definitely a lot of surprises. Will need to find time to write it all down – insha Allah soon.

It’s been pretty gloomy for the past week with cloudy skies throughout the day with rains pouring on some days. Personally it does effect my mood a bit, feeling heavy and as much as I hate to say it out loud, lazy to do anything.  Sky, Bukit Jelutong, Shah Alam, 28 January 2023 It doesn’t help with some of the unexciting news that came in throughout the week.Somehow got to figure how to cope with the internal turbulence I’m facing inside. There are days I can come to terms with it but there are many moments it comes and bug...

It’s the Chinese New Year break and took a trip up to Langkawi to wind down. It’s been a while since I spent time on a island and actually going out to the sea. I used to do island trips quite a lot when I was younger in my uni days with both my school and uni hommies – almost every semester break. Just the smell of the sea and lazing around at the beach (despite the hot sun) is therapy – it’s pretty awesome. I can swim but can’t actually float due to my trauma of almost drowning during...

While me and Ruzain were doing our usual afternoon exercise routine, I had a sudden throwback moment as I watched him walk during our small outdoor walk round, which he calls jogging and when we were doing our three piece exercise relay.  Three things came to mind. First: I’m thankful for how much more stable Ruzain is – he still has his moments but lesser in intensity and frequency. I also know how much he tries to control it though at times still fails. Such a journey, a beautiful one nevertheless. Second: I suddenly remembered the moments where he hurt...

Its the third day of the new year. 2023 still hasn’t really sink in. Still trying to find the rhythm to start the new year on a higher note but honestly I’m still on holiday mood (that’s what I tell myself). But I then need to be fair to the world as even Ruzain already started his new year by going to school. Although not without his usual stunt of not sleeping; either as an act of rebellion or just anxious – really don’t know which is which anymore.  Of course I’m the usual casualty. Not even sure how many...