It’s been forever since I wrote or posted anything – the last post was back in April 2022.
I never managed to get to the discipline of writing regularly and as busy days came – day by day, hour after hour, it all got lost in time. It’s not really about the need to share or write too much. It just shows the busyness of daily life, mostly working life, got the most of me.
It’s that good? Probably not. Bad? More unavoidable. But as many other things in life, really got to find the discipline to have that break.
Break – pulling that hand break from what takes a toll on you. I got to be better at that.
Personally, (and being the ambitious person I am – I might as well admit it), I know and realise that I need to put the grit and hustle in the work I do. More importantly, (putting aside any personal ambitions, which is actually driven by a more noble purpose to make a difference in this world – as cocky as it sounds) the work needs to be put in to serve the people – as many as I can.
Where I am now in the takaful industry, what this really means (at least to me) is to get all walks of life protected by takaful – to enable and empower everyone regardless who they are to build their financial safety net so that they can withstand any financial shocks, in case the unexpected happens. This is what drives me to wake up everyday, many times to face the hardships of corporate life.
It’s been a challenging (and emotionally difficult and draining) 2022 – as I go through this journey to do just that.
So many unexpected events happened throughout the year. A lot that I’m still trying to reconcile internally. Most challenging was the incident that tested my moral compass, betrayed the trust I had given, causing me to lose respect for a few. Even lost few brothers/sisters along the way – there were so many emotions playing around. It hit me pretty hard – felt like someone punched me in the stomach really hard. Who in the world likes that?
2022 required me to step up and step (as well stand) in. As usual I went all in. Unexpectedly at the end of it all, I fell down when it all happened – literally felt as though I fell off a chair. Now, I’m not sure where I stand in the bigger picture. There were times that I questioned myself whether all of it was worth it, putting myself on the line (including putting my neck on the chopping board), going those extra miles and taking responsibility for things beyond me. I won’t lie that these thoughts hit a nerve – it was triggering me all over.
But as I calmed myself down and reflect, I know why I did it, who I really did it for. So all good for now.
Nevertheless, the experience did taught me a lot – it made me revisit what’s important in life in general.
Among others is the importance of finding time to take a break, chill and rejuvenate. It may sound simple but for me, it’s not really easy to do considering the work I do (and where I work at). I can’t recall if there were any stretch of leave that didn’t require me to attend to work. Always carrying my laptop wherever I travel, jumping on short meetings or calls now and then. Attending to emails is a given and it’s the hardest habit for me to let go – all thanks to my peculiar (but probably efficient) clean inbox policy I impose on myself. Maybe I should revisit that too.
So this time around, I’m going to try and take those small steps to try and get that much needed break. Try enjoy time with Ruzain, creating some beautiful memories with him.
Will also take this time to do some thinking (soul searching maybe?) and pray for meaningful days ahead. I want to continue to believe there is a better path out there aligned to what I truly believe in. It’s out there for sure – just need to remind myself to be patient.
But if 2023 continues to take me on a similar path, then I might as well make it as fun and enjoyable with the people who matters most – the people I truly enjoy to be with. Sounds like a new year resolution for me.
For now, going to enjoy waking up to this scenery and the remaining days of 2022.
Happy holidays.
