On a lazy and laid back Sunday, let’s touch on something a bit lighter, personally closer and hopefully (and logically) everyone could relate to (unless you decide not to).
The subject randomly came out during a session by Dr. Ashraf as a “by the way” thing, but to me it was so important that I decided to share it here. The issue has always been there, he just helped to frame and summarize it for easier understanding and remembrance.
Practically, everyone knows about it, whether we realize it or want to admit it is separate thing altogether. It’s something most of us do everyday, consciously or unconsciously, be it in our personal or professional capacities.
So what exactly are we talking about?
It boils down to the fact that we humans “don’t want or/and hate to be wrong”.
Is this statement true?
Of course it is, while it is hard to admit – it is as true as it can get, for crooks and saints alike.
Admitting we are wrong or that we made a mistake, while sounds easy is one the hardest thing to do – in our current state and time, it is probably a rarity of the world.
What do we humans usually do when we do something wrong?
#1 Blame others
The easiest way out is to blame others and the easiest targets are the innocent people who actually took action and were right in the first place.
We always hear “you didn’t tell me”, “you are the one who is supposed to do it” or for ‘bigger community like’ matters “it’s the authorities who should do it.”
Externally, this is probably the most dangerous of the lot as it involves relationship with another party – be it an individual or an institution.
#2 Excuses
The next easiest thing to do is to come out with excuses – rational or irrational ones. In an argument, paired with blaming others, this particular action could go on and on, spiraling into a vicious cycle of excuses after excuses, just to satisfy the ego of not being wrong.
We’ve heard excuses like “I didn’t know”, “I thought you meant it that way”, “I didn’t have enough time”, “I missed that point when it was said”, the list goes on.
If there’s one thing humans are superbly creative about – it’s excuses. We come out with most ridiculous and lamest excuses at times.
#3 Justification
Justifying an action when we did something wrong seems to be easier for a lot people compared to providing justifications for doing the right things.
We can go from telling the truth to “half-truths” and ending up at “no-truths” at all in our attempt of justifying our wrong actions, identifying with any supporting facts even if it can strengthen the justification in the slimmest or most illogical way.
“I did it for everyone’s sake”, “I did it to make things easier”, “We need to do it for the business.”, etc.
Internally, if it is done constantly, it has the most dangerous and detrimental impact to a person’s soul as eventually it blurs the line between right and wrong, affecting a person’s judgment to the core.
The Hard Truth
However bad it appears to be, we can’t deny that these 3 actions has sort of become a natural thing we do especially as a defense mechanism. I won’t come out and lie that I’ve never done these actions before or I am perfect from not doing it anymore in the future.
But it doesn’t take away the fact these are the wrong things to do in most circumstances. They are also probably the main stumbling blocks that hinders us from taking those steps to change and move forward.
So – it’s really up to us on whether we want to continue to be on bandwagon of bandits or start owning up to our mistakes.
To be honest, it’s not that scary to start admitting you are wrong or you’ve made a mistake – at least you’ve taken that first step to make things right even if the end state is still far from sight.