I’m taking a break from work – at least that’s the plan. I actually have so much untaken leave that I will need to somehow clear. And honestly, I need a break too from the hassles of corporate life – it ain’t all pretty all the time. In actual fact, it’s probably the opposite – it’s pretty heartless if you put everything together.
But I won’t lie that I’m struggling to get that rest I long for. Probably the reason why I’m writing this post.
Truth is I’m experiencing palpitations when I start thinking of the list of things that needs to be done come Friday. Even though I’m technically still on leave tomorrow, I have two conference calls scheduled. The lines are so blur these days – sometimes to the point of annoyance.
At least one thing I’m a bit happy about during this break is me being able to deal with Ruzain better. While the challenges are still there, those small improvements does put a smile on my face. It’s been slightly easier to get him to take shower and perform salah.
I haven’t managed to deal with his sleeping patterns – he still sleeps after subuh. But at least I’ve managed to stabilize my sleeping pattern a bit. I literally doze off in the middle of the night with the lights on without me realizing. Happens within a split of the moment in between my conversations with Ruzain.
This morning, I had a conversation about the light at the end of the tunnel.
Honestly, sometimes I don’t know anymore, what light is waiting at that end. There are a lot pieces in my life that needs sorting out.
Also with recent events surrounding my life – work and personal, I’ve realized too that no matter how much we try, putting in your soul and those hard efforts, hoping for an outcome that we want but doesn’t turn out that way – at times it turns out to be the total opposite.
Is it frustrating? Of course it is. Is it demotivating? Certainly. Does it feel sad? I’m human after all.
Maybe there isn’t a tunnel after all – it’s just the the sky on top of our heads along a never ending journey. The sky can be sunny or as cold as a winter night. It can be a rainy day, or stormy with lightning here and there. There can even days (or weeks) with a typhoon.
So for today I conclude – there’s probably no light at the end of the tunnel as there is probably no tunnel anyway. Just some sunny days that lights up our lives in between other weathers that comes our way. Celebrate and cherish those moments as sunny days don’t stay around all the time. There will be moments in our lives where sunny days don’t come for a while.